D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

The Ripple of Violence: Bullying, Dating Violence and Hate

D3.2 A1.4 A1.1About 45 minutes

Learning goals

I can analyse how violent behaviours, including bullying (online or in person), violence in dating relationships, and gender-based or racially based violence, affect the person targeted, the person causing harm and bystanders.
I can describe how support services help prevent violence and support people affected by it.
I can choose safe upstander actions.

Words to know

violence
Using power or force to hurt, control or threaten someone. It can be physical, emotional, verbal, sexual or online.

bullying
Repeated behaviour meant to hurt someone, where there is a real or perceived power imbalance.

dating violence
Violence or controlling behaviour by a dating partner, including jealousy, threats, checking someone's phone, pressure or hitting.

gender-based violence
Violence aimed at someone because of their gender, gender identity or gender expression, including sexual harassment.

racially based violence
Violence or harassment aimed at someone because of their race, culture or ethnic background.

perpetrator
The person who causes the harm.

bystander
A person who sees or knows about the violence. An upstander is a bystander who takes safe action to help.

support service
An organization or person that helps prevent violence or helps people affected, such as a school counsellor, a helpline, police or Victim Services.

One act, many people

When violence happens, it's like a stone dropped in a pond. The ripples reach the person targeted, the person who caused harm, the people who saw it, and the whole school or community.

The Grade 8 curriculum asks you to analyse the impact of violent behaviours, including bullying (online or in-person), violence in intimate and sexual relationships, and gender-based violence or racially based violence, on the person being targeted, the perpetrator, and bystanders, and to describe the role of support services in preventing violence.

Remember from Grade 7

In Grade 7 you learned the difference between conflict and bullying, how homophobic and racist bullying cause harm, and how to be an upstander. This year you'll look at more kinds of violence, including in dating relationships, and analyse their effects on everyone involved.

Type	Examples
Bullying (online or in person)	Repeated name-calling, exclusion, threats, spreading rumours, posting embarrassing images, pile-ons in comments
Dating violence	Controlling who a partner talks to, checking their phone, constant texting to track them, jealousy, put-downs, threats, pressuring for sexual activity or images, pushing or hitting
Gender-based violence	Sexual harassment (comments, touching, "jokes"), threats or attacks because someone is a girl, a boy, transgender or non-binary, sharing intimate images without consent
Racially based violence	Racial slurs, "jokes" about someone's culture, graffiti, excluding or attacking someone because of race; hate online

Kinds of violent behaviour named in the Grade 8 curriculum.

Violence affects everyone involved: the person targeted, the person who harms and the bystanders.

Who	Possible impacts
Person targeted	Fear, anxiety, sadness, low self-esteem, trouble sleeping, missing school, falling grades, isolation, physical injury; in serious cases, thoughts of self-harm or suicide
Perpetrator (person who harms)	Damaged friendships and trust, school consequences (suspension), possible criminal charges (assault, threats, sharing intimate images), a pattern of harmful behaviour that can continue into adult relationships; often they need help with their own problems
Bystanders	Feeling guilty, scared or helpless; feeling unsafe at school; may start to think violence is "normal"; on the other hand, upstanders often feel proud and help change the culture
Community	A school or online space where people don't feel safe or welcome; less trust; when communities act together, violence goes down

Analysing the impact of violence.

Warning signs of an unhealthy dating relationship

Checking a partner's phone or demanding passwords
Constant texting to know where someone is
Extreme jealousy, or deciding who the partner can see
Put-downs, name-calling, threats, or "If you leave me, I'll..."
Pressure for sexual activity or for images
Pushing, grabbing or hitting

Jealousy and control are not signs of love. In a healthy relationship, both people feel safe, respected and free.

Support services: preventing violence and helping people heal

Support services prevent violence (education, clear school policies, programs that teach healthy relationships) and respond to it (safety, counselling, legal help).

At school: teachers, the principal, guidance counsellors, social workers. Ontario schools must have plans to prevent and respond to bullying.
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868 (24/7, free, confidential).
Assaulted Women's Helpline (Ontario): 1-866-863-0511, 24/7. Fem'aide (in French): 1-877-336-2433. Talk4Healing (for Indigenous women in Ontario): 1-855-554-4325.
Victim Support Line (Ontario): 1-888-579-2888.
211: call or text to find local services.
Cybertip.ca: to report online sexual exploitation of young people.
Police: 911 if someone is in danger now.

The Ontario Human Rights Code protects people from harassment and discrimination based on things like race, sex, gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation in services, including schools.

Worked example

Let's analyse a group chat

In a class group chat, students post memes mocking Priya's culture and her family's food. One student, Ethan, keeps adding more. Twelve people react with laughing emojis. Two people say nothing.

Name it: this is racially based bullying, online and repeated.
Person targeted (Priya): may feel humiliated, unsafe, alone, and not want to come to school.
Perpetrator (Ethan): could face school consequences; his reputation and friendships may suffer; he is learning a harmful pattern.
Bystanders: the laughing reactions add to the harm and show Priya that many people agree. Silent bystanders may feel guilty.
Upstander actions: don't react or share; post "This isn't okay"; message Priya privately to support her; screenshot and tell a teacher or principal.

Everyone is affected. The laughing reactions make it worse. Upstanders can refuse to join, support Priya, and report to an adult, who can use school supports to stop it.

Every bystander has a choice. Laughing or sharing adds to the harm; safe upstander actions help stop it.

Worked example

Let's spot dating violence

Sam and Riley (both 14) have been dating for a month. Riley texts Sam 40 times a day, gets angry when Sam hangs out with friends, and says, "If you really loved me, you'd send me your password."

Look for warning signs: constant texting (tracking), jealousy about friends (isolating), demanding a password (control).
Name it: these are signs of controlling behaviour, which is a form of dating violence.
Impact on Sam: stress, losing friends, feeling trapped.
Support: Sam can talk to a parent, school counsellor or Kids Help Phone, and set clear limits or end the relationship.

This relationship has signs of dating violence (control and jealousy). Sam deserves respect and freedom. Talking to a trusted adult or Kids Help Phone is a good next step.

Hands-on activity

Ripple map

You need: a large sheet of paper and markers.

In the centre, write a short made-up incident (for example, a student is sexually harassed with comments in the hallway).
Draw three rings around it: Person targeted, Perpetrator, Bystanders. Add a fourth outer ring: School and community.
In each ring, write at least two effects.
On the side, list three support services that could help and what each would do.
Show your grown-up and explain your map. Ask them: "What support services did you know about when you were my age?"

What to look for: realistic effects on all groups and correct support services. This builds empathy and relationship skills (A1.4).

Your turn

Name the four kinds of violent behaviour in the Grade 8 curriculum.

Give two possible impacts on the person targeted.

Give two possible impacts on the perpetrator.

How can laughing at a mean post be harmful?

Name two warning signs of an unhealthy dating relationship.

What is the Kids Help Phone number?

More practice: warm-up

What is a bystander?

What is an upstander?

Is jealousy a sign of love?

What number do you call if someone is in danger right now?

Name one support at school.

More practice: on your own

Explain how support services prevent violence, not just respond to it.

Why might a person who bullies need support too?

A girl in your class gets comments about her body every day in the hallway from a group of boys. What kind of violence is this, and what could bystanders do?

How does the Ontario Human Rights Code connect to this lesson?

Why might someone in a controlling relationship not tell anyone?

Challenge

Analyse this: a transgender student is repeatedly misgendered on purpose and threatened in the change room. Describe the impact on the student, the perpetrators and bystanders, and name two support services.

Why are online pile-ons sometimes worse than in-person bullying? Give two reasons and one action that helps.

Create a short "respect pledge" (3 lines) for a Grade 8 class that addresses bullying, dating violence and hate.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is an example of dating violence?

How can bystanders who laugh at bullying make it worse?

Which is a possible impact on the perpetrator of violence?

Racial slurs and "jokes" aimed at someone's culture are...

What does a support service do?

Which is the safest upstander action when a fight is happening?

For parents and teachers

Big idea: This lesson covers the Grade 8 expectation to analyse the impact of violent behaviours, including bullying (online or in-person), violence in intimate and sexual relationships, and gender-based violence or racially based violence, on the person being targeted, the perpetrator, and bystanders, and describe the role of support services in preventing violence (D3.2). It builds relationship skills and empathy (A1.4) and emotional awareness (A1.1).

Helplines (checked October 2026, from Ontario.ca and Kids Help Phone): Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 / text CONNECT to 686868; Assaulted Women's Helpline 1-866-863-0511; Fem'aide 1-877-336-2433; Talk4Healing 1-855-554-4325; Victim Support Line 1-888-579-2888; 211.

How to help at home:

Ask: "Have you ever seen something like this at school or online? What did people do?"
Talk about what healthy and unhealthy dating behaviour looks like, even if your child isn't dating.
Model respectful language about race, gender and identity.

Common difficulties: thinking jealousy is romantic; believing that laughing or watching is harmless; not knowing where to get help. If your child discloses that they are being harmed, listen calmly, thank them for telling you, and contact the school or appropriate services.