Listening That Goes Deeper: Open-Ended Questions, Reflecting and Evaluating Your Skills

Remember from Grade 7

In Grade 7 you learned to paraphrase before you respond, to tell clarifying questions from probing questions, to take on discussion roles (facilitator, recorder, timekeeper, reporter) and to help a group reach consensus or compromise. Grade 8 asks you to go one step further: to evaluate your listening skills, not just use them. You'll ask open-ended questions, reflect what you hear (ideas and feelings), make relevant responses, and judge which skills worked.

Let's start with two interviews

Amira is interviewing her grandfather for a history project about moving to Canada.

Interview 1

• "Did you come to Canada in winter?" "Yes."
• "Was it cold?" "Very."
• "Did you like it?" "Sometimes."

Interview 2

• "What do you remember about your first week in Canada?" Her grandfather talks for three minutes about the snow, the bus ride from the airport and the neighbour who lent him a warm coat.
• "It sounds like that neighbour really mattered to you." "She did. I still think of her every winter..."

Same person, same topic. Interview 1 got three words. Interview 2 got a story. The difference: open-ended questions and reflecting.

Closed and open-ended questions

A closed question can be answered with yes, no or one fact. Closed questions are useful for checking facts quickly: "Is the meeting at 4:00?"

An open-ended question invites the speaker to explain, describe, compare or give reasons. It usually starts with how, why, what, in what ways, or tell me about.

In a discussion, open-ended questions:

1. give the speaker room to share what they think is important;
2. bring out reasons and evidence, not just answers;
3. invite quieter people in without putting them on the spot.

Reflecting: ideas and feelings

In Grade 7 you paraphrased the idea. Reflecting adds one more layer: when it fits, you also name the feeling you heard.

• Reflecting the idea: "So the bus schedule makes it hard for you to get to practice."
• Reflecting the feeling: "It sounds like you're frustrated, because you really want to be on the team."

Use tentative words: "It sounds like...", "I'm guessing...", "Maybe you feel...". That way the speaker can correct you. Never tell people what they feel.

Reflecting on what was said also means pausing to think before you answer. A few seconds of silence after someone speaks is not awkward: it shows you're taking their words seriously. At the end of a discussion, summarize what was said: "We've heard three ideas so far..."

Making relevant responses

A response is relevant when it passes two tests:

1. Does it connect to the question the group is discussing?
2. Does it connect to what was just said? (If you're changing direction, say so: "Before we move on, can I go back to Leo's point?")

Useful starters: "Building on what Sam said...", "That connects to...", "I see it differently, because...", "Can I add an example?"

Formal and informal contexts

• Formal: a class seminar, a student council meeting, a job or volunteer interview, a panel. Wait for your turn or the facilitator, use complete sentences, refer to others by name, and back up your points.
• Informal: chatting with friends, planning with family. Turn-taking is looser, but the same skills (open questions, reflecting, relevant responses) still make people feel heard.