D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Puberty Feelings: Managing Stress and Caring for My Mental Health

D2.5 A1.1 A1.2 A1.3About 45 minutes

Learning goals

I can describe emotional and relationship stresses that can come with puberty.
I can recognize signs that someone may need support for their mental health.
I can use strategies to manage stress, build resilience and keep talking with caring adults.

Words to know

stress
The feeling of pressure when something seems hard or challenging.

resilience
The ability to bounce back and keep going after something hard.

mental health
How we think, feel and cope. Everyone has mental health.

crush
Strong feelings of liking someone and wanting to be around them.

journal
A notebook where you write your thoughts and feelings.

Elder
A respected person in a First Nations, Métis or Inuit community who shares knowledge and guidance.

A roller coaster of feelings

Puberty changes more than your body. Some days you might feel on top of the world. Other days, little things might make you cry, snap at your sibling, or want to be alone. That's a common part of growing up. Today you'll learn why this happens, how to cope, and when it's time to get extra help.

Remember from Grade 4

You learned that puberty can bring mood swings, feeling self-conscious, and changing friendships, and you learned strategies for stress like positive self-talk, deep breathing, getting active and talking to someone. This year you'll go deeper and learn to spot signs that someone may need more help.

Stresses that can come with puberty

Questions about changing bodies and feelings: "Is this normal?" "Why do I feel this way?"
Changing relationships: friends may grow apart, new friendships form, and you may want more privacy and independence from family.
Crushes and stronger feelings: liking someone can feel exciting and confusing.
Comparing: being earlier or later than friends, or comparing yourself to images online.
Different expectations: sometimes what you want and what your family's culture or faith teaches may feel different. Talking openly with your family helps.

All of these are normal. Hormones, a growing brain and new experiences all play a part.

Usually normal ups and downs	Signs that someone may need more support
Feeling sad after a bad day, then better after a day or two	Feeling sad, hopeless or worried most days for two weeks or more
Being nervous before a test	Worry so strong it stops them from going to school or doing things they need to do
Wanting some alone time	Pulling away from friends and family most of the time
Being grumpy when tired	Big changes in sleep or eating that last
Losing interest in one activity	Losing interest in almost everything they used to enjoy
—	Talking about hurting themselves, or feeling that life isn't worth living: tell a trusted adult right away

Everyone has ups and downs. Signs that are strong, last a long time, or get in the way of daily life are a reason to get help.

Ups and downs are normal (A). Feeling sad or worried most days for two weeks or more (B) is a reason to get more support.

Strategies to manage stress and build resilience

Be active: walk, skate, play a sport, dance.
Write feelings in a journal.
Breathe deeply: in through your nose for 4, out slowly through your mouth for 6.
Meditate or try a quiet, calm moment.
Get good information about your questions from trusted sources: parents, your doctor, school nurse, books for kids your age.
Take action on a concern: make a plan for the thing that's worrying you.
Talk to a trusted peer or adult.
Seek cultural advice: some people find support from Elders, Métis Senators, knowledge keepers or faith leaders.
Keep talking with family: even when you want more privacy, keep the conversation open.

The breathing pattern from the activity: in for 4, hold for 2, out for 6. A long, slow breath out helps your body calm down.

Keeping communication open

As you grow, you may want more privacy. That's normal. But it's also important to keep talking with your family and caring adults. Tips:

Choose a good time, like in the car, on a walk, or while cooking together.
Start small: "Can I ask you something kind of awkward?"
If talking is hard, write a note or send a message.
Remember: caring adults went through puberty too!

Worked example

Let's work through a stress

Zoe's two best friends have started spending time without her. She has a crush on someone in her class and feels embarrassed all the time. She's been snapping at her mom.

Name the feelings: lonely, embarrassed, confused, grumpy.
Is this normal? Yes: changing friendships and crushes are common puberty stresses.
Strategies: Zoe writes in her journal, goes for a bike ride, and practises deep breathing.
Take action: she asks a classmate from her art club to hang out.
Keep communication open: she tells her mom, "Sorry I've been grumpy. Things are weird with my friends." They talk on a walk.

Zoe uses several strategies and talks to her mom. These feelings are normal, and she's building resilience.

Worked example

Let's recognize when more help is needed

For three weeks, Dev has stopped playing basketball, which he loves. He eats very little, stays in his room, and says, "Nothing matters."

How long? Three weeks: longer than two weeks.
How strong? He's lost interest in almost everything and isn't eating well.
Signs: pulling away, changes in eating, losing interest, hopeless words.
Action: Dev needs more support. A friend or Dev himself should tell a trusted adult (parent, teacher, school counsellor) who can help him get care, such as from a doctor.

These are signs of a mental health concern. Tell a trusted adult. With support, people can feel better.

Just for fun

Remember: the grown-ups in your life went through puberty too! Ask one what music they loved when they were your age. Warning: there may be singing. There may even be dancing. 🕺

Hands-on activity

My resilience toolkit

You need: a small box or envelope, paper, coloured pencils and a grown-up.

Write or draw 6 strategies that help you when you feel stressed, one on each card (for example, shooting hoops, journal writing, a breathing pattern, a playlist, calling Grandma).
Add a card with 3 people you can talk to.
Add a card with one kind thing to tell yourself on a hard day.
Practise one breathing strategy with your grown-up: breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 6. Do it 5 times. How do you feel?
Keep your toolkit somewhere easy to reach.

What to look for: a mix of active, calm, creative and talking strategies, and at least one adult on the people card.

Your turn

Name three stresses that can come with puberty.

What is resilience?

Name two signs that someone may need more support for their mental health.

Name four strategies to manage stress.

What should you do if someone talks about hurting themselves?

Give a tip for starting an awkward conversation with a parent.

Is having a crush normal?

More practice: warm-up

True or false: mood swings can be part of puberty.

Name one active strategy for stress.

What is a journal?

Is wanting more privacy normal at your age?

Who could you talk to about a puberty question?

More practice: on your own

What's the difference between a normal bad mood and a sign of a mental health concern?

Your feelings about a crush are distracting you in class. Name two strategies.

Why is it important to get puberty information from trusted sources?

A family's cultural teachings say one thing, and a friend's family does things differently. What could help?

How does taking action on a concern reduce stress?

Challenge

Explain how three different strategies from this lesson could help the same person in different ways.

Your friend tells you they've felt really down for a month and asks you not to tell anyone. What do you do and why?

What does it mean to build resilience? Give an example from your own life or a story.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is a common stress during puberty?

Resilience means...

Which is a sign someone may need more mental health support?

Which is a healthy strategy for stress?

A friend talks about hurting themselves. You should...

Who might someone seek cultural advice from?

For parents and teachers

Big idea: This lesson covers the Grade 5 expectation to describe emotional and interpersonal stresses related to puberty, recognize signs that could indicate mental health concerns, and identify strategies they can apply to manage stress, build resilience, keep open communication with family members and caring adults, and enhance their mental health and emotional well-being (D2.5). The strategies listed follow the curriculum's examples, including seeking cultural advice from Elders, Métis Senators, knowledge keepers or knowledge holders.

About this content: This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health expectations. In Ontario, parents may request that their child be exempted (opted out) from human development and sexual health instruction at school; ask your school about its process. If your child is exempted, you may skip this lesson at home too, or teach it in your own way.

How to help at home:

Find low-pressure times to talk (car rides, walks). Side-by-side talks feel easier than face-to-face for many kids.
Respect their growing need for privacy, while keeping the door open: "You can ask me anything."
Watch for lasting changes in sleep, eating, mood or interest in activities.

If you're concerned: talk to your child's doctor or school. Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868, or text CONNECT to 686868) is available any time. If your child talks about wanting to hurt themselves, seek help right away; call or text 988 (Suicide Crisis Helpline) or 911 in an emergency.

Common difficulties: keeping worries secret; thinking every bad mood is a disorder (most ups and downs are normal), or the opposite, brushing off lasting signs.

This lesson builds managing emotions (A1.1), coping and help-seeking (A1.2) and perseverance and resilience (A1.3).