D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Healthy Relationships, Bullying and Consent

D1.4 A1.4 A1.1 A1.2About 45 minutes

Learning goals

I can name the characteristics of healthy relationships with friends, family and others.
I can tell the difference between a conflict and bullying, and name types of bullying.
I can describe ways to respond to bullying and other challenges, for myself and as an upstander.
I can ask for, give and refuse consent in my words and actions, and respect other people's answers.

Words to know

relationship
A connection between people, like friends, family members, classmates or teammates.

healthy relationship
A relationship where people are kind, respectful, honest and fair, and feel safe.

conflict
A disagreement. It happens in all relationships and can be worked out.

bullying
Hurting someone on purpose, again and again, when the person doing it has more power.

upstander
Someone who sees bullying and does something safe to help.

consent
Asking first, getting a clear "yes", and respecting the answer, including "no" or a change of mind.

The people in your life

Think of all the people you have relationships with: family, friends, classmates, teammates, neighbours, even people you play games with online. Some relationships make you feel happy and safe. Sometimes there are challenges. Today you'll learn how to build healthy relationships, handle bullying, and use consent.

Healthy relationship 💚	Unhealthy relationship 🚩
Kind words and actions	Mean words, put-downs, hurting
Honest	Lying or tricking
Listening to each other and taking turns	One person is always the boss
Respecting no and personal space	Pushing someone to do things they don't want
Including others and accepting differences	Leaving people out on purpose
Working out conflicts fairly	Threats, like "You can't be my friend unless..."

Characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships.

Conflict or bullying?

A conflict is a disagreement, like two friends who both want to be the goalie. Conflicts are normal. You can work them out by talking, listening and finding a fair solution.

Bullying is different. It is:

on purpose (meant to hurt),
repeated (happens again and again), and
unfair power: the person bullying is older, bigger, more popular or has a group with them.

Types of bullying

Physical: hitting, pushing, tripping, taking or breaking things.
Verbal: name-calling, teasing, mean comments about how someone looks, talks or where their family is from.
Social: leaving someone out on purpose, spreading rumours, getting others to ignore someone.
Cyberbullying: mean messages, posts or pictures online.

A conflict is a normal disagreement between people with equal power. Bullying is on purpose, repeated, and uses unfair power. Bullying always needs a trusted adult's help.

If you are being bullied

Stay calm and use a strong voice: "Stop. I don't like that."
Walk away to a safe place near an adult or friends.
Tell a trusted adult. Telling is not tattling. Tattling is trying to get someone in trouble. Telling is getting help when someone is hurt or unsafe.
Keep telling until someone helps. It is never your fault.

Be an upstander

A bystander sees bullying and does nothing. An upstander does something safe to help:

Say, "Stop. That's not okay."
Invite the person to come play with you.
Don't laugh or join in, and don't share mean posts.
Tell an adult.
Check in later: "Are you okay?"

Consent in everyday life

Consent means asking first, getting a clear yes, and respecting the answer. You use it every day:

Asking before you hug a friend, borrow a pencil, or join a game.
Asking before you take or share a photo of someone.
Listening when someone says no, stop, or looks unhappy. A no can be with words or with body language (pulling away, frowning, crossing arms).
People can change their mind. A yes yesterday doesn't mean yes today.
You can say no too. Your body belongs to you. If anyone touches you in a way that is unsafe or makes you uncomfortable, say no, get away and tell a trusted adult.

Consent step by step: ask first, look for a clear yes, and respect the answer. A "no", an "umm..." or unhappy body language all mean don't.

Worked example

Let's sort: conflict or bullying?

Read each situation.

A. Two friends argue about the rules of a game, then figure it out. B. Every day at recess, a group of older kids calls Theo names and won't let him on the climber.

A: It happened once, both friends had equal power, and they worked it out. It's a conflict.
B: It's on purpose, again and again, and the older kids have more power. It's bullying (verbal and social).

A is a conflict. B is bullying. Theo should tell a trusted adult, and upstanders can help.

Worked example

Let's practise consent

Jaxon wants to take a funny picture of his friend Ella and send it to their class group chat.

Ask first: "Can I take a picture of you and share it in the group chat?"
Listen and watch: Ella says, "Umm... I guess," and looks away. That is not a clear yes.
Respect it: Jaxon says, "That's okay, I won't." If Ella had said yes, she can still change her mind later.

Without a clear yes, Jaxon does not take or share the picture.

Hands-on activity

Strong voice and upstander role-play

You need: a grown-up or older sibling.

Practise a strong voice: stand tall, look at the person, speak clearly. Say, "Stop. I don't like that." Compare it with a quiet, mumbly voice. Which one sounds more sure?
Act out: someone keeps grabbing your hat. Use your strong voice, walk away, then tell the "teacher" (your grown-up).
Act out being an upstander: someone is being left out. Invite them to play.
Practise consent: ask before a hug or a high five. Your partner chooses yes or no. Respect the answer either way, with a smile!

Your turn

Name three characteristics of a healthy relationship.

What are the three signs that something is bullying, not just a conflict?

Name the four types of bullying.

What is the difference between tattling and telling?

What is an upstander?

What does consent mean?

A friend said yes to a game of tag, then says, "I want to stop." What do you do?

More practice: warm-up

Is spreading a rumour about someone a type of bullying?

Is a disagreement about the rules of a game always bullying?

Should you ask before hugging a friend?

Is it ever your fault if you are bullied?

Name one way to say no with a strong voice.

More practice: on your own

Sort: hitting, name-calling, leaving someone out on purpose, a mean comment in a game chat.

You see a classmate being teased about their lunch every day. Give two upstander actions.

Your friend shrugs and looks away when you ask to borrow her markers. Is that consent?

Why is it important to include people who are different from you?

Your friend says, "You can't come to my party unless you give me your snack." Is this healthy? Why?

Challenge

Someone has been sending your friend mean messages in a game. Your friend says, "Don't tell anyone, it'll make it worse." What do you do and why?

Two friends both want to be the goalie and are getting angry. Suggest a fair way to work it out.

Explain why someone might feel stressed when there are challenges in a relationship, and name two ways to cope.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is a characteristic of a healthy relationship?

Which situation is bullying?

Leaving someone out on purpose is which type of bullying?

What does an upstander do?

Which shows consent?

If you are being bullied, what should you do?

A friend agreed to play, then changes their mind. What should you do?

For parents and teachers

Big idea: The Grade 3 expectation asks students to identify the characteristics of healthy relationships and describe ways of responding to bullying and other challenges and of communicating consent in their interactions with others (D1.4).

About the content: This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health expectations. It follows the Grade 3 wording and stays simple. Consent here is about everyday interactions: hugs, games, borrowing things and sharing photos, plus the safety message that their body belongs to them. In Ontario, parents may request an exemption from human development and sexual health instruction at school (ask your school about its process); students are not graded on content they are exempted from. At home, you decide how much to say.

How to help at home:

Model consent: "Can I have a hug?" and accept a no cheerfully. Don't insist children hug relatives; offer a wave or high five instead.
Ask open questions: "Who did you play with today? Did anyone get left out?"
If your child reports bullying, listen calmly, thank them for telling, and contact the school. Avoid advising them to fight back.
If your child has bullied someone, focus on repair and empathy rather than shame.

Common difficulties: calling every conflict "bullying"; fear that telling makes things worse. If a child discloses abuse, stay calm, believe them, and contact your local children's aid society or police.

This lesson also builds healthy relationships (A1.4), identifying emotions (A1.1) and coping (A1.2).