Oral Communication · Oral Communication: Listening, Speaking and Reflecting

Speaking for a Purpose: Interpersonal Strategies, Formality and Consensus

2.1 2.2About 70 minutes

Learning goals

I can name my purpose for speaking and choose language suitable for my audience.
I can use interpersonal strategies: taking turns, inviting others in, acknowledging ideas and disagreeing respectfully.
I can adapt how I speak to my role in a group and to the level of formality, including forms of address.
I can negotiate consensus by finding what different points of view have in common.
I can show sensitivity to cultural differences in how people communicate, without stereotyping.

Words to know

interpersonal speaking
Speaking with others in conversation, discussion or meetings, as opposed to presenting to an audience.

consensus
A decision that everyone in a group can accept, reached by discussion rather than by a vote.

compromise
A solution in which each side gives up part of what it wanted.

formality
How formal or casual a situation is, which shapes word choice and forms of address.

form of address
How you name someone when speaking to them: first name, title and surname (Ms. Dubois), or role (Coach, Councillor).

wait time
The pause between one speaker finishing and another starting; comfortable lengths differ between people and cultures.

Remember from Grade 9

In Grade 9 you analyzed purpose, audience and context before speaking and chose a suitable register. You also learned that non-verbal communication varies across cultures. Grade 10 adds two things: expectation 2.1 asks you to speak for a variety of purposes with language that suits the audience, and 2.2 asks you to use interpersonal strategies (the skills of talking with people) and adapt them to the purpose, situation and audience, with sensitivity to cultural differences.

Purposes for speaking

You speak to:

inform or explain (how a lab works, what a character did),
persuade (why the school should start a club),
entertain (a funny story at a family dinner),
inquire (asking questions to learn something),
negotiate (agreeing on a plan or a deadline),
build relationships (welcoming a new student, thanking someone),
commemorate (a speech at a ceremony).

Language that's suitable for one audience may not suit another. Explaining photosynthesis to a Grade 4 student needs simpler words and a concrete example; explaining it on a science test needs precise terms. Ask: What does this audience already know? What do they need from me?

Interpersonal strategies

These are the skills of a good group member:

Take turns. Let speakers finish; don't dominate.
Invite others in. "Ravi, you haven't had a chance yet. What do you think?" (Do this kindly; some people need more time to think before speaking.)
Acknowledge before adding. "That's a good point about cost."
Disagree respectfully. Challenge the idea, not the person, and give a reason.
Adapt to your role. A discussion director keeps the talk moving with questions; a chair in a meeting manages turns and time; a note-taker asks people to clarify decisions.
Negotiate consensus when the group must decide together (see below).

Consensus isn't everyone getting their first choice. It's a decision everyone can accept because it is built on what they share.

Consensus, compromise or vote?

A vote is quick but can leave a large minority unhappy.
A compromise splits the difference: each side gives something up.
Consensus looks for an option everyone can support, often by finding a shared goal underneath different positions.

Consensus takes longer but builds commitment, which matters when everyone has to work on the decision (a group project, a team plan).

Worked example

Let's negotiate consensus in a group

Four students must choose a topic for a group presentation on a local issue.

Ella: "Let's do the closing of the Elm Street rink. It's in the news."
Jun: "I'd rather do public transit. The buses in our area are always late."
Fatima: "What about the lack of things for teens to do downtown?"
Owen hasn't said anything.

Use the four steps to move toward consensus.

1. Hear all views. Invite Owen: "Owen, what are you thinking? Even if it's not a topic yet." Owen: "I just want a topic where we can interview real people."
2. Find common ground. Listen underneath the positions: the rink, the buses and downtown spaces are all about young people's access to places and activities in town. And everyone agrees with Owen that interviews would make it real.
3. Propose. "What if our topic is 'Can teens get to and enjoy places in our town?' We could cover the rink closing, bus service and downtown spaces, with interviews."
4. Check. "Can everyone live with that?" Jun: "Yes, if transit is a main section, not a footnote." Adjust: give transit its own section. Agreement reached.

The group reached consensus by inviting a quiet member, finding a shared concern (teens' access to places and activities) beneath three different topics, proposing an option that combined them, and checking and adjusting.

Formality and forms of address

The same request sounds different depending on the situation. In more formal situations:

use a title and surname (Ms., Mr., Mx., Dr.) or a role title (Coach, Councillor) until you are invited to use a first name;
use complete sentences and polite openings ("Excuse me," "Could I ask...");
avoid slang and keep the request clear and brief.

Mx. (said "mix") is a gender-neutral title some people use. If you're not sure how someone wants to be addressed, it's respectful to ask.

The further down the ladder, the more formal the situation: titles, polite openings and complete sentences replace casual greetings.

Sensitivity to cultural differences

How people take turns, disagree and show respect is learned in families and communities, and it varies. For example:

Directness. Some people say "I disagree" plainly; others signal disagreement more gently ("That's interesting... I wonder if..."). Neither is wrong.
Wait time. Some people are comfortable with long pauses before answering; others jump in quickly. Quick speakers can unintentionally shut out people who pause to think.
Eye contact and personal space expectations differ.
Names. Learn to pronounce classmates' names correctly. If you're unsure, ask: "How do you say your name?"
Talking circles. Talking circles (sometimes called sharing circles) come from the traditions of many Indigenous communities, especially many First Nations, and are now used in many classrooms. Practices differ from community to community, but a talking circle usually gives each person an uninterrupted turn, often while holding an object; listeners don't interrupt or respond until it's their turn.
Interpreters. When speaking with someone who uses an interpreter (for example, an ASL interpreter), speak and look to the person, not the interpreter.

These are patterns, not rules about any group. The respectful approach is to notice, ask and adapt, rather than assume.

Worked example

Let's adapt one request for three people

You need to miss Saturday's commitments for a family event. Make the request to (a) a friend you were going to skate with, (b) your coach (you'll miss a game), and (c) your manager at your part-time job (you're scheduled to work).

(a) Friend, informal: "Hey, I can't skate Saturday, family thing. Sunday instead?" Short, casual, and offers an alternative.
(b) Coach, semi-formal: "Hi Coach Lee, I wanted to let you know early that I'll miss Saturday's game because of a family event. Is there anything I should do to prepare the team?" Gives notice, a reason, and shows responsibility.
(c) Manager, formal: "Hi Ms. Dubois, could I speak with you for a minute? I have a family event on Saturday and I'm scheduled from 10 to 4. I've asked Kai and he's able to cover my shift, if that works for you." Asks permission to talk, gives exact details, and offers a solution, because the manager needs to keep the store staffed.

The purpose (asking to be excused) is the same, but the formality, form of address, detail and solution change with the audience's role and needs.

Count the voices

In your next group discussion, notice who has spoken and who hasn't. If you've spoken three times and someone else hasn't spoken once, your best interpersonal move is to invite them in and then listen.

Hands-on activity

Family consensus challenge

You need: two or more family members and a real decision with more than one option (for example, a weekend activity, a meal plan, or how to share chores this winter).

Each person states their first choice and one reason.
Everyone listens for what the reasons have in common. Write the common ground in one sentence.
Someone proposes an option built on that common ground.
Ask: "Can everyone live with this?" Adjust until the answer is yes.
Afterward, write: Which step was hardest? Did you reach consensus, a compromise or a vote? Which interpersonal strategy helped most?

Just for fun

A consensus is when everyone agrees.

A compromise is when everyone is equally disappointed. (Aim for the first one.)

Your turn

Name four purposes for speaking.

What's the difference between consensus and compromise?

Write a sentence that invites a quiet group member into a discussion kindly.

Rewrite for a formal situation: "Hey, can I get Saturday off?" (to a manager).

Why should a quick speaker be careful about wait time in a group?

When speaking with someone who uses an ASL interpreter, who should you look at and speak to?

How does a discussion director's way of speaking differ from a summarizer's in a reading circle?

More practice: warm-up

What does Mx. mean and how is it pronounced?

What is the first step in negotiating consensus?

True or false: a vote and consensus are the same thing.

Give an example of acknowledging before adding.

What should you do if you're unsure how to pronounce a classmate's name?

More practice: on your own

Two group members disagree: one wants a video, the other a live presentation. Find possible common ground and propose a consensus option.

Explain why a direct speaker and an indirect speaker might misunderstand each other, and how to prevent it.

Write how you would explain what consensus means to a Grade 5 student. Then explain it to your teacher.

In a talking circle, a student has an idea that responds to the person who just spoke, but it isn't her turn. What should she do?

A student says "Whatever, I don't care" when his group asks for his view. Suggest a more effective interpersonal response, even if he really doesn't mind.

Challenge

Your group has reached a deadlock: two members want one topic and two want another. Explain step by step how you would try for consensus before falling back on a vote, and why the order matters.

Write a short script (4 to 6 lines) of a respectful disagreement between two students about whether phones should be allowed at lunch, showing at least three interpersonal strategies.

Explain why "notice, ask and adapt" is better than learning rules about how each culture communicates.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is an example of negotiating consensus?

The most appropriate opening for a city council delegation is:

Which shows sensitivity to cultural differences?

When speaking with someone who uses an ASL interpreter, you should:

Which purpose fits asking a librarian how to find sources for a project?

Inviting a quiet group member to speak is effective when it is done:

For parents and teachers

Big idea: Expectation 2.1 asks students to communicate orally for a variety of purposes with language suitable for the audience. Expectation 2.2 asks them to use interpersonal speaking strategies (such as adapting to a role, negotiating consensus by identifying common ground, and using forms of address suited to the level of formality) with sensitivity to cultural differences.

How to help at home:

Practise phone calls or emails your teen will need for a job, a coach or a teacher. Talk about how the language changes with formality.
Use the four consensus steps for real family decisions.
Notice and praise when your teen invites a quieter family member into a conversation.

Common difficulties:

Using one style for everyone (too casual with adults, or stiff with friends).
Treating consensus as "my idea wins." Point out common ground.
Cultural generalizations. Encourage "notice, ask and adapt" rather than rules about groups.