A–B. Listening and Speaking · Listening and Speaking Across la Francophonie

Tu ou vous ? Politeness, Apologies and Solving a Problem with a Teacher

A2.2 A3.2 B1.4 B2.1 B2.2 B3.2About 70 minutes

Learning goals

I can choose tu or vous and the right register for the person and situation.
I can greet, invite, accept and refuse, compliment and apologize politely, and respond when others do.
I can recognize impolite expressions and handle a misunderstanding respectfully.
I can role-play a conversation with a teacher about lateness or a late assignment and negotiate a solution.

Words to know

tutoyer / vouvoyer
To call someone tu / to call someone vous (tü-twah-YAY / voo-vwah-YAY).

être en retard
To be late (ah(n) ruh-TAR). Un retard = a delay or a late arrival.

remettre un travail
To hand in an assignment (ruh-METR). La date de remise = the due date.

un délai supplémentaire
An extension (more time) (day-LEH sü-play-mah(n)-TAIR).

Je suis désolé(e)
I'm sorry (day-zoh-LAY).

Ce n'est pas grave.
It's not a big deal / That's OK (suh neh pah GRAHV).

Ça te dirait de... ?
Would you like to...? Literally would it tell you to...? (sah tuh dee-REH duh)

un malentendu
A misunderstanding (mah-lah(n)-tah(n)-DÜ).

un compromis
A compromise (koh(m)-proh-MEE).

Oups... encore en retard

It's 9:05. Your class started at 8:45. It's the third time this month, and your history project, due yesterday, is still on your laptop at home. You have to talk to your teacher.

What you say and how you say it will make a big difference. Today you'll learn the politeness conventions of French: tu or vous, greetings, invitations, compliments and apologies, and how to solve a problem with a teacher through a respectful conversation and a fair compromise.

Remember from Grade 8

In Grade 8 you learned the three registers, familier, courant, soutenu, and practised formal interviews. In Grade 9 you'll use them in real situations: apologizing, negotiating and handling misunderstandings.

Tu or vous?

Tu (tü): one friend, classmate, family member, a child, a pet.
Vous (voo): one adult you don't know well, a teacher, a principal, an employee in a store, an interviewer, a guest... and always for more than one person.

Customs vary. In Québec, people often switch to tu quickly, even with adults in casual settings. In France and in many African countries, vous is usually kept longer with adults and elders. **At school, use vous with teachers unless they tell you otherwise. If someone says On peut se tutoyer !** (We can say tu to each other), go ahead.

Remember: the verb changes too: Tu peux m'aider ? vs Vous pouvez m'aider ? · Excuse-moi vs Excusez-moi.

When in doubt, start with vous. It's easy to switch to tu when invited, but awkward to be too familiar.

Everyday politeness

Greetings: Bonjour, madame / monsieur. (formal) · Salut ! (friends) · Bonsoir (evening) · Comment allez-vous ? (formal) / Ça va ? (casual) · Bonne journée ! / Bonne fin de semaine ! · À demain !

Invitations:

Inviting: Ça te dirait de venir au match vendredi ? · Tu veux venir... ? · (formal) Est-ce que vous aimeriez... ?
Accepting: Avec plaisir ! · Bonne idée ! · Volontiers ! (gladly, a bit formal: voh-loh(n)-TYAY)
Refusing kindly: C'est gentil, mais je ne peux pas, je dois garder ma sœur. · Malheureusement, je suis pris(e) samedi. (I'm busy) · Une autre fois, peut-être ?

Compliments: Bravo pour ton exposé ! · J'aime beaucoup ton chandail ! (sweater: chandail is used in Québec and other parts of Canada; pull in France) · Respond: Merci, c'est gentil !

Apologies:

Pardon ! (small things: bumping someone) · Excusez-moi / Excuse-moi · Je suis (vraiment) désolé(e) + de + infinitive: Je suis désolé d'être en retard.
Je m'excuse is very common in Canada; some people prefer Excusez-moi in formal situations.
Accepting an apology: Ce n'est pas grave. · Pas de problème. · Ça arrive. (It happens.)

What sounds rude, and what to say instead

Each line shows something that sounds rude, then what to say instead:

Quoi ? (What?) to an adult → Pardon ? or Comment ?
Hé ! Monsieur ! → Excusez-moi, monsieur...
Je veux sortir. → Est-ce que je pourrais sortir, s'il vous plaît ?
Using tu with a teacher you just met → vous
Starting a request with no greeting → Bonjour, madame. Est-ce que...
Interrupting → wait, or Excusez-moi de vous interrompre, mais...

Handling a misunderstanding

Misunderstandings happen between people from different places: a friend from Québec invites you pour dîner and you arrive at 6 p.m. (they meant lunch!), or someone greets you with la bise when you expected a handshake. Stay calm and curious:

Je crois qu'il y a un malentendu. (I think there's a misunderstanding.)
Qu'est-ce que tu veux dire par « dîner » ? (What do you mean by...?)
Ah, chez moi, on dit / on fait... (Oh, where I'm from, we say / do...)
Désolé(e), je ne voulais pas te vexer. (Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.)

Talking to a teacher about a problem

To talk about lateness, absences or a late assignment, use:

Je suis désolé(e) d'être en retard / d'avoir manqué le cours. (d'avoir + past participle = for having...)
Je n'ai pas pu terminer mon projet parce que... (I wasn't able to finish because...)
Est-ce que je pourrais vous le remettre demain ? (Could I hand it in to you tomorrow? le = the project, vous = to you)
Est-ce qu'il serait possible d'avoir un délai supplémentaire ? (Would it be possible to have an extension?)
Qu'est-ce que je dois faire pour rattraper le cours ? (What should I do to catch up?)

Negotiating a compromise: propose an alternative with Et si + imparfait: Et si je vous remettais la première partie demain et le reste lundi ? (What if I gave you...?) Agree: C'est d'accord. · Marché conclu ! (Deal!) · Merci de votre compréhension.

Apologize, explain briefly and honestly, propose a solution, and thank. Long excuses without a solution rarely work.

Worked example

Let's listen to Tariq and his teacher

After class, Tariq speaks to Madame Okafor.

Tariq : Excusez-moi, madame. Est-ce que je peux vous parler deux minutes ? Mme Okafor : Bien sûr, Tariq. Tariq : Je suis vraiment désolé d'être arrivé en retard ce matin. L'autobus ne s'est pas arrêté à cause de la neige. Et... je n'ai pas encore remis mon projet d'histoire. Mme Okafor : Je comprends pour l'autobus. Mais le projet était pour hier. Qu'est-ce qui s'est passé ? Tariq : J'ai eu un tournoi de basket toute la fin de semaine, et je me suis mal organisé. Est-ce que je pourrais vous le remettre vendredi ? Mme Okafor : Vendredi, c'est un peu tard. Les autres élèves l'ont déjà remis. Tariq : Et si je vous remettais la première partie demain et le reste jeudi ? Mme Okafor : D'accord, c'est un bon compromis. Mais pas plus tard que jeudi ! Tariq : C'est promis. Merci de votre compréhension, madame !

Register: Tariq uses vous, madame, and asks permission before starting (Est-ce que je peux vous parler...?).
Apology + explanation: Je suis vraiment désolé d'être arrivé en retard... à cause de la neige. He's honest about the project: je me suis mal organisé (I organized myself badly).
Solution in the conditionnel: Est-ce que je pourrais vous le remettre vendredi ?
Negotiation: the teacher says no to Friday; Tariq offers a compromise with Et si + imparfait (remettais). They agree: the first part tomorrow, the rest on Thursday.
Closing: C'est promis. Merci de votre compréhension.

Translation:

Tariq: Excuse me, ma'am. Could I talk to you for two minutes? Mme Okafor: Of course, Tariq. Tariq: I'm really sorry I arrived late this morning. The bus didn't stop because of the snow. And... I still haven't handed in my history project. Mme Okafor: I understand about the bus. But the project was due yesterday. What happened? Tariq: I had a basketball tournament all weekend, and I didn't organize myself well. Could I hand it in to you on Friday? Mme Okafor: Friday is a bit late. The other students already handed it in. Tariq: What if I gave you the first part tomorrow and the rest on Thursday? Mme Okafor: OK, that's a good compromise. But no later than Thursday! Tariq: I promise. Thank you for understanding, ma'am!

Worked example

Let's fix a rude conversation

Make this exchange polite: « Hé ! Quoi ? Je veux sortir. » (A student to a substitute teacher.)

Hé ! → greet and get attention politely: Excusez-moi, monsieur / madame.
Quoi ? (if you didn't hear) → Pardon ? or Pardon, pourriez-vous répéter ?
Je veux sortir → conditionnel + s'il vous plaît: Est-ce que je pourrais sortir, s'il vous plaît ?
Use vous with a substitute teacher you don't know.

Excusez-moi, madame. Est-ce que je pourrais sortir deux minutes, s'il vous plaît ? ... Pardon, pourriez-vous répéter ?

Just for fun

French takes the tu-or-vous question so seriously that it has two whole verbs just for it: tutoyer (to say tu to someone) and vouvoyer (to say vous). There's even a polite question about which one to use: On se tutoie ? English just shrugs and says you to everyone, from babies to the King.

Hands-on activity

Jeu de rôle : la négociation (Role-play: the negotiation)

You need: a partner (a family member can read the teacher's role from the example), and 3 small pieces of paper.

On each paper, write a problem: retard (autobus), travail en retard (malade), absence (rendez-vous chez le dentiste).
Pick one. Plan the 4 apology steps on the back with key words only.
Role-play the conversation. The "teacher" must say no to the first solution (C'est un peu tard...), so you have to negotiate with Et si je... + imparfait.
Switch: now invite your partner to something (Ça te dirait de... ?). Your partner refuses kindly; you suggest another time.
Reflect: Did you use vous the whole time with the teacher? Did you propose a solution?

What to look for: vous + madame/monsieur, désolé(e) de / d'être, conditionnel requests, a real compromise, and a polite closing.

Your turn

Tu or vous? (a) your best friend (b) a new principal (c) three classmates

Say: I'm sorry I'm late.

Invite a friend to a movie Saturday with Ça te dirait de...

Refuse an invitation kindly and suggest another time.

Ask your teacher if you could hand in your project tomorrow.

Someone apologizes for bumping you. What can you say?

Propose a compromise with Et si: hand in half on Monday.

More practice: warm-up

What does vouvoyer mean?

What does Avec plaisir ! mean?

What's a polite replacement for Quoi ?

What does un malentendu mean?

How do you respond to J'aime ton chandail !?

More practice: on your own

Change to the vous form: Excuse-moi, tu peux m'aider ?

Correct: Je suis désolé pour être en retard.

Say: I'm sorry I missed the class. (Use d'avoir + past participle.)

A friend from Québec invited you pour dîner and you showed up at 6 p.m. Clear up the misunderstanding in French.

Why is step 3 (propose a solution) the most important part of an apology to a teacher?

Challenge

Your teacher says Lundi, c'est trop tard. Respond with a compromise and a promise (2 sentences).

Explain why Je veux un délai supplémentaire might get a worse reaction than Est-ce qu'il serait possible d'avoir un délai supplémentaire ?

A classmate new to Canada greets you with Bonjour, comment allez-vous ? even though you're both 14. In English, explain why, and how you might respond.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is correct to a teacher you just met?

Je suis désolé ___ en retard.

Which is a kind refusal?

Et si je vous remettais le projet jeudi ? is used to...

You're talking to two friends. You say...

Je crois qu'il y a un malentendu means...

For parents and teachers

Big idea: Students learn politeness conventions in French: tu/vous, greetings, invitations, compliments, apologies (A3.2, B3.2), handle misunderstandings, and role-play a teacher–student conversation about lateness or a late assignment, including a negotiation (A2.2, B1.4, B2.1, B2.2).

How to help: Play the teacher in the role-play and say no to the first solution, so your teen practises negotiating. This is a life skill in any language.

Common difficulties:

Mixing tu and vous in the same conversation (Excusez-moi, tu peux...). Pick one and keep the verbs matching.
Désolé pour + verb: it's désolé de / d'être / d'avoir.
Long excuses without a solution: coach the four-step apology.

Good to know: Customs around tu/vous and greetings vary across the francophonie and between families. The lesson teaches students to notice differences, ask, and adapt without judging.