D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Getting Along In Person and Online: Handling Conflict and Staying Safe

D2.3 A1.1 A1.2 A1.4About 45 minutes

Learning goals

I can use self-awareness and self-management skills, including anger management, when I'm upset.
I can use listening and assertive communication skills to solve conflicts.
I can interact positively and safely online, in group chats, social media and online games.

Words to know

conflict
A disagreement or clash between people's ideas, wants or feelings.

self-awareness
Noticing your own feelings, thoughts and body signals.

self-management
Controlling how you act on your feelings, especially strong ones like anger.

assertive
Saying what you think and need clearly and calmly, while respecting others.

"I" message
A way to say how you feel without blaming: "I feel ___ when ___ because ___. I need ___."

privacy settings
Controls in apps and games that decide who can see your information and contact you.

digital footprint
The trail of information about you that you and others leave online.

Conflict is normal

People disagree. Friends argue about rules in a game, classmates disagree in group projects, teammates get frustrated after a loss, and group chats can get heated fast. Conflict isn't bad by itself. What matters is how you handle it. Handled well, a conflict can even make a friendship stronger. Today you'll learn skills to stay calm, communicate clearly, and keep things positive and safe, both in person and online.

Remember from Grade 5

You practised assertive responses to threatening situations and learned how online actions can hurt feelings and reputations. This year you'll put those skills together to prevent and manage everyday conflicts with friends, classmates and teammates.

Step 1: Know yourself (self-awareness)

Anger often shows up in your body first:

hot face, clenched fists or jaw
fast heartbeat or breathing
loud voice, wanting to yell or hit

Noticing these signals early gives you time to choose what to do next.

Step 2: Manage it (self-management)

Anger management strategies:

Stop and take three slow, deep breaths.
Count to 10 (or 20).
Take a break: "I need a minute." Walk away and come back when calm.
Move: a quick walk or some jumping jacks can let off energy.
Don't type when angry: wait before sending a message.

Step 3: Communicate

Listening skills:

Let the other person finish without interrupting.
Show you're listening (nodding, facing them, putting your phone down).
Repeat back what you heard: "So you're upset because..."

Assertive skills: Use an "I" message instead of blaming.

Blaming: "You always hog the ball!"
"I" message: "I feel left out when I don't get passes because I want to help the team. I need us to share the ball more."

Step 4: Solve it together

Brainstorm solutions, pick one that's fair to both, try it, and check back. If you can't solve it, or if anyone is unsafe, get an adult.

The four steps for handling a conflict. If it can't be solved, or anyone is unsafe, get an adult.

Zoe's "I" message, built in four parts. It talks about her feelings and needs instead of blaming Ethan.

Online, this happens...	So try this...
No tone of voice or faces, so jokes can sound mean	Re-read before sending. Ask yourself, "Could this be taken the wrong way?" Talk in person if it matters.
Group chats pile on quickly	Don't join in. Change the subject, message the person privately to check on them, or leave the chat.
Messages can be screenshotted and shared forever	Only post what you'd be okay with your teacher, family or future self seeing. That's your digital footprint.
People may not be who they say they are	Keep personal information private: full name, address, school, phone number, passwords, photos that show where you live. Only chat in games with people you know in real life.
Someone is mean or makes you uncomfortable	Don't reply. Screenshot, block, report in the app, and tell a trusted adult.
Anger + typing = regret	Take a break before replying. Never post angry.

Positive and safe interaction online.

Online safety basics

Use privacy settings so only people you know can see your posts or contact you.
Never share passwords (except with your parent or guardian), your address, school or phone number.
Never meet someone in person whom you only know online.
If anyone online asks for photos, asks you to keep a secret, offers gifts, or makes you uncomfortable: stop, block, and tell a trusted adult. It is never your fault.
Most social media apps require users to be 13 or older. Follow your family's rules about apps and games.

Funny but true

The very first message sent between two computers on the early internet, in 1969, was supposed to be "LOGIN." The system crashed after two letters, so the first message ever was just "LO."

See? Even computers do better when they pause before sending!

Worked example

Let's cool down and use an "I" message

During a group project, Ethan does all the slides himself and ignores everyone's ideas. Zoe feels her face getting hot and wants to shout, "You're so bossy!"

Self-awareness: Zoe notices her hot face and the urge to shout. That's anger.
Self-management: she takes three deep breaths and waits until she's calmer.
"I" message: "I feel frustrated when the slides get made without our ideas, because we're all being marked on this. I need us to split up the slides."
Listen: Ethan says he was worried they'd run out of time. Zoe repeats back: "So you were worried about the deadline."
Solve together: they make a plan: each person does two slides by Thursday, and Ethan checks that they all fit together.

By staying calm, speaking assertively and listening, Zoe turns a fight into a plan.

Worked example

Let's handle a group chat pile-on

In your class group chat, someone posts an unflattering photo of a classmate, Dev, and others start adding laughing emojis and mean comments.

Pause. Don't add an emoji, even as a "joke." Joining in adds to the harm.
Speak up or redirect if it's safe: "Not cool. Let's delete that." Or change the subject.
Support Dev privately: "Saw the chat. That wasn't okay. Are you alright?"
Screenshot and tell a trusted adult, especially if it keeps going. The person in the photo didn't give consent for it to be shared.

You can't control everyone in the chat, but you can refuse to join, support the person, and get help.

Hands-on activity

Role-play: cool, clear and kind

You need: a family member or friend, and some slips of paper.

Write these situations on slips: a teammate blames you for a lost game; your sibling keeps taking your charger; a friend didn't invite you to a sleepover and posted pictures; someone in an online game keeps calling you names.
Pick a slip. Act out the situation twice: once the wrong way (blaming, yelling, or firing back online), then the right way: calm down, "I" message, listen, solve (or block, report and tell, for the online game).
Talk about how each version felt.

What to look for: a visible calm-down step, a complete "I" message (feel, when, because, need), and repeating back what the other person said.

Your turn

Name two body signals that you're getting angry.

Name two anger management strategies.

Turn this into an "I" message: "You never listen to me!"

Why can jokes be misunderstood online?

Name three things you should keep private online.

Someone in an online game is sending you mean messages. What four steps should you take?

What is a digital footprint?

More practice: warm-up

True or false: all conflict is bad.

What's one good thing to do before replying to an upsetting message?

Should you meet someone in person whom you only know from an online game?

What does assertive mean?

Is adding a laughing emoji to a mean post "no big deal"?

More practice: on your own

What's the difference between an aggressive, a passive and an assertive response?

Why is repeating back what someone said a useful listening skill?

A teammate yells at you after you miss a shot. Using self-management, what could you do in the moment?

Why should you use privacy settings in apps and games?

Your friend posts something angry about another friend. What could you do?

Challenge

Someone online you don't know, who says they're 12, asks for a photo of you and says, "Don't tell your parents, they won't understand." What is happening, and what should you do?

Explain how the four steps (know yourself, manage it, communicate, solve together) could help two friends who both want to be captain.

Why might a conflict that's solved well make a friendship stronger?

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is an "I" message?

What should you do first when you feel anger rising?

Which information should you keep private online?

Someone online asks you to keep a secret from your parents. You should...

Why are jokes easy to misunderstand in texts?

Which response is assertive?

For parents and teachers

Big idea: This lesson covers the Grade 6 expectation to apply social-emotional learning skills (self-awareness and self-management, including anger management; communication, including listening and assertiveness) to promote positive interaction and avoid or manage conflict in social situations, in person or online (D2.3). It builds emotion skills (A1.1), coping (A1.2) and relationship skills (A1.4).

Online safety: The lesson includes basic online safety (privacy settings, not sharing personal information, warning signs such as requests for photos or secrets). Children should know they will not be in trouble for telling you about something that happened online. Cybertip.ca (Canada's tip line for reporting online sexual exploitation of children) is a resource for parents.

How to help at home:

Model "I" messages and calm-down breaks in family disagreements.
Know which apps and games your child uses and set privacy settings together.
Agree on a family rule: tell a parent about anything online that feels uncomfortable, without fear of losing the device.

Common difficulties: using "I feel that you are..." (still blaming); thinking walking away is "losing"; believing online strangers who seem friendly. Practise the steps when everyone is calm.