Writing · Writing: Planning, Drafting, Revising and Publishing

Sentence Craft and Fluency: Variety, Emphasis and Transitions

2.4 3.4About 70 minutes

Learning goals

I can identify and write simple, compound, complex and compound-complex sentences.
I can vary sentence length, openings and types to create flow and emphasis.
I can combine choppy sentences without creating fragments, run-ons or comma splices.
I can choose transitions that show the logical relationship between ideas.

Words to know

independent clause
A group of words with a subject and verb that can stand alone as a sentence.

dependent clause
A clause that cannot stand alone; it often begins with because, although, when, if or since.

sentence fluency
The smooth rhythm and flow of writing when read aloud.

appositive
A noun phrase that renames the noun beside it, such as our coach in Ms. Ito, our coach, blew the whistle.

participial phrase
A phrase built on an -ing or -ed verb form that describes a noun: Shivering in the wind, ...

comma splice
Two independent clauses joined with only a comma.

transition
A word, phrase or sentence that shows how ideas are related.

Writing has rhythm

Read this paragraph aloud:

The rink opened in December. The volunteers flooded it every night. The ice was smooth. Kids came after school. Parents came too. Everyone liked it.

Every sentence has the same shape and almost the same length. It sounds like a robot reading a list. Now read this one aloud:

When the rink opened in December, volunteers flooded it every night, spraying thin layers of water until the ice shone like glass. Kids arrived straight from school. By dinnertime, parents had joined them, laces tangled and cheeks red, laughing at their own wobbly turns. Everyone loved it.

Same facts, but the second version flows. Long sentences carry the reader along; short ones land with a thump. In this lesson you will learn to vary sentence type, structure and length on purpose, and to connect ideas with smooth and logical transitions, which is exactly what the Grade 10 curriculum asks for.

Each bar is one sentence from the paragraphs above. In the varied version, the two short sentences stand out because they sit next to long ones.

Remember from Grade 9

In Grade 9 you built simple, compound, complex and compound-complex sentences using coordination and subordination, and you practised parallel structure and placing modifiers clearly. Grade 10 uses those tools for style: variety, emphasis and flow.

Quick review: four sentence structures

Simple: one independent clause. The ice cracked.
Compound: two independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) or a semicolon. The ice cracked, but nobody fell.
Complex: an independent clause plus a dependent clause (beginning with a word like because, although, when, if, while, since). Although the ice cracked, nobody fell.
Compound-complex: two independent clauses plus at least one dependent clause. Although the ice cracked, nobody fell, and the game went on.

And four sentence types (by purpose): declarative (statement), interrogative (question), imperative (command), exclamatory (strong feeling). A well-placed question or command can wake up a paragraph of statements.

Five ways to vary your sentences

Vary length. Follow two or three long sentences with a short one for emphasis. It was over.
Vary openings. Do not start every sentence with the subject. Try a dependent clause (When the whistle blew, ...), a prepositional phrase (Under the stands, ...), a participial phrase (Shivering in the wind, ...), an adverb (Slowly, ...) or a transition (However, ...).
Combine choppy sentences using conjunctions, relative clauses (who, which, that), appositives (Ms. Ito, our coach, ...) or participial phrases.
Put key words at the end. English sentences naturally stress their final words. Only one thing could save the game: Priya's last shot.
Use parallel structure for rhythm: We came to skate, to laugh and to forget the cold.

Fragments and run-ons (expectation 3.4)

Variety must still produce complete sentences in formal writing.

A fragment is missing a subject or a main verb, or is only a dependent clause: Because the rink closed.
A run-on joins two independent clauses with no punctuation: The rink closed we went home.
A comma splice joins them with only a comma: The rink closed, we went home.

Fix with a period, a semicolon, a comma plus a coordinating conjunction, or by making one clause dependent. In narratives, writers sometimes use a fragment on purpose for effect (Silence.), but avoid them in essays.

Transitions: the logic between sentences

A transition tells your reader how two ideas are related. Choosing the wrong one confuses them: It snowed 40 cm. Therefore, the game went ahead makes no sense. However is the logical choice.

Transitions can also be whole sentences or repeated key words that link ideas (you used these as bridges between paragraphs in the literary essay lessons).

Choose the transition by the relationship between ideas, not by habit. Furthermore and however are not interchangeable.

Worked example

Let's revise a choppy paragraph for fluency

Revise: Canada has many lakes. Some lakes are huge. Lake Superior is one of them. It is the largest of the Great Lakes. It can have big storms. Ships have sunk there.

Read it aloud and notice the problem: six short simple sentences, most beginning with the subject.
Combine with an appositive: Lake Superior, the largest of the Great Lakes, ...
Combine with a relative clause and add a logical transition: ...is big enough to produce violent storms, which have sunk many ships over the years.
Vary the opening with a prepositional phrase for the first sentence: Among Canada's many lakes, ...
End with a short sentence for emphasis that adds a thought rather than repeating: Sailors treat it like an ocean.
Check for complete sentences and logical connections: no comma splices, and which clearly refers to storms.

Among Canada's many lakes, some are vast enough to feel like seas. Lake Superior, the largest of the Great Lakes, can produce violent storms, which have sunk many ships over the years. Sailors treat it like an ocean. Three varied sentences replace six choppy ones, and the short final sentence lands with emphasis. (Lake Superior is the largest of the Great Lakes, and storms there have sunk many ships, including the well-known Edmund Fitzgerald in 1975.)

Hands-on activity

Sentence-length detective

You need: a favourite novel or magazine from home, paper, a pencil and a highlighter.

Choose one paragraph of about 8 sentences from a professional writer. Count the words in each sentence and make a bar graph like the one in this lesson.
Do the same with one paragraph of your own recent writing.
Compare: Does the professional vary length more? Where does the writer put short sentences?
Revise your paragraph: combine at least two short sentences, change at least two openings, and end with a short sentence for emphasis.
Read both versions of your paragraph aloud to a family member and ask which flows better.

What to look for: a bar graph that matches the counts, at least two different kinds of sentence openings in the revision, and no new comma splices.

Just for fun

Short sentences are dramatic. They create suspense. They also make your paragraph sound like a movie trailer. In a world. Where every sentence. Is short.

Your turn

Identify the structure: When the bell rang, the students left, but the teacher stayed.

Combine with an appositive: Mr. Haddad coaches the curling team. He teaches chemistry.

Fix the comma splice in two different ways: The power went out, we lit candles.

Choose the logical transition: The forecast called for sun. ___, it rained all afternoon. (Therefore / However / For example)

Rewrite to begin with a participial phrase: She clutched her ticket and ran for the train.

Is Because the roads were icy. a complete sentence? Explain.

More practice: warm-up

Name the four sentence structures.

Name the seven coordinating conjunctions.

What kind of sentence gives a command?

Which transition shows cause and effect: meanwhile or as a result?

Where in a sentence does English put natural emphasis?

More practice: on your own

Combine into one complex sentence: We stayed inside. The windchill was minus 35.

Rewrite so the key idea comes at the end: The thing that ruined the picnic was a swarm of wasps.

Fix the faulty parallelism: The job requires patience, being organized and to communicate well.

Vary the openings: I went to the library. I found three books. I read one on the bus.

Explain why this transition is illogical and fix it: Many students walk to school. Furthermore, others take the bus.

Challenge

Write a paragraph of 5 sentences about a winter storm that uses all four sentence structures and at least one question. Label each sentence.

Revise this paragraph for fluency and logic: The school board studied later start times. Students slept more. Attendance improved. Some parents had problems with work schedules. The board kept the later start.

A writer uses this fragment in a short story: The phone rang. Midnight. Nobody moved. Explain why it works there but would not in an essay.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is a complex sentence?

Which sentence is a comma splice?

Which transition shows contrast?

Why place a short sentence after several long ones?

Which begins with a participial phrase?

Which has correct parallel structure?

For parents and teachers

Big idea: Expectation 2.4 asks students to write complete sentences that communicate clearly, vary sentence type, structure and length, and make smooth and logical transitions. Grammar (3.4) supports this: variety must not create fragments or run-ons.

How to help: have your teen read a paragraph aloud. Where do they run out of breath (too long)? Where does it sound choppy? Ask How are these two sentences related? to help them choose a transition.

Common difficulties: every sentence starting with I or The; comma splices created while combining; transitions used by habit (Furthermore for a contrast); very long sentences with no control.