D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Caring Behaviours, Bullying and Consent

D2.3 A1About 35 minutes

Learning goals

I can recognize caring behaviours, like listening, helping and respecting boundaries.
I can recognize behaviours that can hurt, like excluding, bullying, tricks and unsafe touching.
I can describe how these behaviours make people feel.
I can respond: say "Stop", move away and tell a trusted adult. I understand asking and giving permission (consent).

Words to know

caring behaviour
Something kind we do that helps others feel safe and happy, like listening or sharing.

bullying
When someone keeps hurting another person on purpose, with words, actions or by leaving them out.

excluding
Leaving someone out on purpose.

boundary
A personal limit about what is okay for you, like "I don't want a hug right now."

consent
Asking for and giving permission. It means saying yes or no about what happens to your body, and respecting other people's yes or no.

trusted adult
A grown-up you know who keeps you safe and listens to you.

How does it feel?

Think of a time someone shared with you or helped you. How did you feel? Happy? Safe? 😊

Now think of a time someone left you out of a game. How did you feel? Sad? Lonely? 😢

What people do can make others feel good, or can hurt. Today you'll learn to tell the difference and what to do.

Caring behaviours	How people feel
Listening with respect	important, heard
Being helpful, sharing, taking turns	happy, cared for
Including others: "Come play with us!"	welcome, part of the group
Respecting boundaries: asking before a hug, stopping when someone says stop	safe, respected

Behaviours that can hurt	How people may feel
Ignoring or leaving someone out on purpose	sad, lonely
Bullying: name-calling, hitting, pushing, mean teasing again and again	scared, hurt, upset
Tricks, bribes or threats to make you do something ("I won't be your friend unless...")	confused, pressured, worried
Unsafe touching, or being told to keep a touching secret	scared, uncomfortable, confused

My body, my choice: consent

Consent means asking and giving permission.

Before you hug, tickle or touch someone, ask: "Can I give you a hug?" If they say no, that's okay. Respect it!
You can say no to a hug, a tickle or a kiss, too. You could offer a high five or a wave instead.
If someone says stop, you stop. If you say stop, they should stop.

The private parts rule

Nobody should touch your private parts, ask you to touch theirs, or show you pictures of private parts. The only times someone might need to touch or look at your private parts are to keep you clean and healthy, like a parent helping in the bath or a doctor checking you with your parent there.

Consent in action: ask first, accept the answer, and find another friendly way to say hello, like a high five.

Surprises and secrets

A surprise is fun and is told soon, like a birthday present.

A secret that makes you feel worried or uncomfortable is not okay to keep, especially a secret about touching. Always tell a trusted adult. It is never your fault, and you won't be in trouble.

What can I do if something hurts or feels wrong?

Say it: "Stop! I don't like that." Use a strong, clear voice.
Move away: go to a safe place or a safe person.
Tell a trusted adult: a parent, caregiver, teacher or another grown-up you trust.
Keep telling until someone helps you.

If you see someone else being hurt or left out, you can help too: be kind to them, invite them to play, and tell a trusted adult.

If something hurts or feels wrong: say it, move away and tell a trusted adult. Keep telling until someone helps you.

Worked example

Let's sort behaviours

Is each one caring or can hurt? (a) Lucas asks, "Can I sit with you?" (b) Kim tells Aria, "You can't play, you're not our friend," every day. (c) Jo stops tickling as soon as Ben says stop.

(a) Lucas asks first. That is respectful and caring.
(b) Kim leaves Aria out on purpose, again and again. That can hurt. It is a kind of bullying.
(c) Jo respects Ben's boundary and stops. That is caring and shows consent.

(a) caring, (b) can hurt (excluding, bullying), (c) caring (respecting a boundary).

Worked example

Let's practise responding

At recess, an older child keeps pushing Sami and calling him names. Sami feels scared. What can he do?

Name the feeling: "I feel scared." That's a signal that something is wrong.
Say it: "Stop! I don't like that."
Move away toward the teacher on duty or a group of friends.
Tell a trusted adult what happened, and keep telling if it doesn't stop.

Sami says "Stop!", moves away and tells a trusted adult. Asking for help is brave and smart.

Hands-on activity

Trusted adults hand and practice

You need: paper and a pencil, a grown-up.

Trace your hand. On each finger, write or draw one trusted adult you could tell if something is wrong (at home, at school, in your family or community).
Practise a strong voice: stand tall, look up and say "Stop! I don't like that!" Try a quiet voice, then a strong voice. Which one sounds like you mean it?
Practise consent: take turns asking "Can I give you a hug?" Answer "Yes!" or "No thanks, how about a high five?" Both answers are okay. Respect each answer.

Your turn

Name two caring behaviours.

What is bullying?

How might someone feel when they are left out?

What does consent mean?

Your aunt asks for a hug but you don't feel like one. What could you do?

What are the 3 steps if someone is hurting you?

Someone says, "Don't tell anyone that I touched you there." Should you keep this secret?

More practice: warm-up

Is sharing your crayons caring or hurtful?

Is calling someone mean names caring or hurtful?

If a friend says "stop" during a game, what should you do?

Name one trusted adult at school.

Is a birthday surprise okay to keep for a little while?

More practice: on your own

A classmate says, "Give me your snack or I won't be your friend." What kind of behaviour is this? What can you do?

You see a new child alone at recess. Name a caring thing you could do.

Why should you ask before you hug a friend?

You told a teacher about bullying, but it kept happening. What should you do?

How might someone feel when another person listens to them with respect?

Challenge

Explain the difference between a surprise and a secret that is not okay.

Your friend is being teased every day. You're not sure what to do. Give two ways you could help.

Who decides whether you get a hug: you or the other person? Explain.

Check your understanding

Quiz

Which is a caring behaviour?

What does consent mean?

Someone keeps pushing you at recess. What should you do first?

Which secret should you always tell a trusted adult?

How might someone feel if they are bullied?

Who is a trusted adult?

For parents and teachers

Big idea: The Grade 1 expectation asks students to recognize caring behaviours (listening with respect, being helpful, respecting boundaries) and behaviours that can be harmful (ignoring or excluding others, bullying, manipulative behaviours, sexually exploitative or abusive behaviours including inappropriate touching, and verbal, emotional or physical abuse), to describe the feelings that go with each, and to know appropriate ways to respond, demonstrating an understanding of the importance of consent.

This is a sensitive topic. The lesson uses simple, non-scary language: "my body, my choice", the private parts rule, surprises vs. secrets, and "Say stop, move away, tell a trusted adult."

How to help at home:

Let your child decline hugs or kisses from relatives; offer a high five or wave instead. This teaches that their "no" matters.
Help your child name at least five trusted adults.
Use "surprises, not secrets" as a family rule.
Listen calmly if your child tells you something. Thank them for telling you, and say it is not their fault.

If your child discloses abuse or you are worried: stay calm, believe them, and do not question them in detail. In Ontario, anyone who has reasonable grounds to suspect a child is being harmed must report it to a children's aid society. In an emergency, call 911. Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868) is available to children and youth any time.

This lesson also builds social-emotional skills (strand A): identifying emotions, building healthy relationships and communicating clearly.