Grade by Grade
D. Healthy Living · Healthy Living

Stand Up, Speak Up: Bullying, Harassment and Exploitation

D2.2 A1.1 A1.4 A1.5About 45 minutes
Learning goals
  • I can describe different types of bullying, abuse, harassment and exploitation, in person and online.
  • I can assess the impact of these behaviours on the person targeted, on bystanders, on the person doing it and on the whole community.
  • I can choose safe ways to prevent or respond, including being an upstander and getting help.

Words to know

bullying
Repeated behaviour meant to hurt, scare or exclude someone, where there is an imbalance of power.
harassment
Unwanted comments or actions that make someone feel unsafe, insulted or humiliated, often about who they are (for example, their race, religion, disability, gender or sexual orientation).
exploitation
Taking unfair advantage of someone, for example pressuring or tricking a young person into sexual activity or sending sexual images.
abuse
Harm done to a person by someone else, which can be physical, emotional, sexual, or neglect. It is never the fault of the person harmed.
homophobia
Fear, dislike or unfair treatment of people who are, or are thought to be, lesbian, gay or bisexual. Transphobia is the same toward people who are transgender.
upstander
A bystander who takes safe action to help when someone is being hurt.
coercion
Using pressure, threats or tricks to make someone do something they don't want to do.

More than "just joking"

A group chat shares an edited photo of a classmate. Someone calls a kid "gay" as an insult in the change room. A player is shoved every day at the bus stop. An older teen keeps messaging a Grade 7 student for photos.

These situations are different, but each one can do real harm. Today you'll assess the impact of different kinds of bullying, harassment, abuse and exploitation, and learn safe ways to prevent and respond.

Remember from Grade 6

You learned to manage everyday conflict with "I" messages and to challenge stereotypes behind homophobia and racism. Conflict is a disagreement between equals. Bullying is different: it's repeated, it's meant to hurt, and one side has more power (more friends, size, popularity or information).

meyouConflicta disagreement between equalspowertargetBullyingrepeated, meant to hurt, more power
In conflict, both sides have about equal power. In bullying, the scale tips: one side has more power, and the hurt is repeated and on purpose.
TypeWhat it can look like
PhysicalHitting, shoving, tripping, damaging belongings
VerbalName-calling, insults, threats, mocking someone's accent or disability
Social (relational)Excluding, spreading rumours, turning friends against someone
CyberbullyingMean posts or messages, sharing private photos or screenshots, fake accounts, group chat pile-ons
Identity-based bullying and harassmentTargeting someone because of their race, culture, religion, disability, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation or body. Examples: homophobic or transphobic slurs, racist jokes
Sexual harassmentUnwanted sexual comments, jokes, gestures, touching, or rating people's bodies
Exploitation and coercionPressuring or tricking someone into sexual activity or sending sexual images; threatening to share images (sextortion)
Types of bullying, harassment and exploitation.

Assessing the impact

The curriculum asks you to assess the impact on yourself and others. The harm spreads wider than you might think:

  • The person targeted may feel afraid, ashamed, lonely or anxious; have trouble sleeping or concentrating; avoid school or activities; and, in serious cases, feel hopeless. Identity-based bullying also tells them that who they are is not welcome.
  • Bystanders may feel guilty, scared or unsafe, and can start to think cruelty is normal.
  • The person bullying may lose friendships and trust, face school consequences (and sometimes legal ones), and miss the chance to build healthy relationship skills. Some people who bully are being hurt themselves.
  • The whole community (class, team, school) becomes a place where people don't feel safe being themselves.

In Ontario, the Human Rights Code protects people from discrimination and harassment based on grounds such as race, creed (religion), disability, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression.

Sexting coercion and exploitation

Sometimes a boyfriend, girlfriend, crush or stranger pressures someone to send a sexual image: "If you liked me, you'd send one." "Everyone does it." "I'll share your other pics if you don't." This is coercion, and it's never okay.

  • You never owe anyone a photo.
  • Making, having or sharing sexual images of anyone under 18 can be a crime in Canada.
  • If you've already sent one and are being threatened, it is not your fault. Stop replying, don't pay or send more, and tell a trusted adult. Report to Cybertip.ca; NeedHelpNow.ca helps young people get images taken down.

Safe ways to respond

If it's happening to you:

  • Stay calm and use an assertive voice: "Stop. That's not okay." Then walk away.
  • Online: don't reply; screenshot messages (never save sexual images); block; report.
  • Tell a trusted adult, and keep telling until someone helps.

If you see it (be an upstander):

  • Don't join in or laugh; don't share.
  • Interrupt safely: change the subject, or say "Not cool."
  • Support the person afterward: "That wasn't okay. Are you all right?"
  • Report it to an adult. Reporting harm is not "snitching"; it's helping.
  • Never put yourself in physical danger. Get an adult instead.
Don't join indon't laugh,don't shareInterrupt"Not cool."or change the subjectSupport"Are youall right?"Reporttell an adult:that's helpingNever put yourself in physical danger: get an adult instead.
Four ways to be an upstander. Even one of them can change what happens next.
Worked example

Let's assess a homophobic comment

In the change room, Marco says to Ethan, "That's so gay, you throw like a girl." A few people laugh. Ethan goes quiet.

  1. Name it: identity-based harassment. It uses "gay" as an insult (homophobia) and "like a girl" as an insult (sexism).
  2. Impact on Ethan: embarrassment and feeling unsafe in the change room; he may avoid sports.
  3. Impact on others: anyone who is gay, bisexual, questioning, or who has a gay family member hears that people like them are a joke. Girls hear that being a girl is something bad.
  4. Upstander response: "Hey, using 'gay' as an insult isn't okay." Later, check on Ethan. If it continues, tell the coach or teacher.

Even a "joke" can harm many people, not just one. A short, calm upstander response helps change the culture.

Worked example

Let's respond to coercion

Ava, 13, has been chatting with a classmate she likes. He writes: "Send me a pic, just for me. If you don't, I'll know you don't really like me."

  1. Spot the coercion: guilt ("you don't really like me") and pressure. A person who cares respects a no.
  2. Know the facts: making, having or sharing sexual images of anyone under 18 can be a crime in Canada, and once sent, an image can be shared with anyone.
  3. Respond assertively: "No. I'm not sending pics. If you like me, you'll respect that."
  4. Get support: tell a trusted adult, especially if the pressure continues or turns into threats.

Ava says no clearly and gets support. Healthy relationships are built on respect, not pressure (A1.4).

Hands-on activity

Upstander scripts role-play

You need: a family member as a partner and the scenarios below.

  1. Read each scenario. Take turns being the upstander.
  • A classmate is left out of every group on purpose.
  • A group chat starts making fun of someone's lunch from their culture.
  • Someone shares a rumour about who a classmate has a crush on.
  • A teammate keeps making comments about another player's body.
  1. For each, practise one thing to say in the moment and one thing to do afterward (support or report).
  2. Practise the assertive voice: calm, steady, eye contact, short words.
  3. Talk about: Which response felt safest? When should you get an adult immediately?

What to look for: short, calm words; no insults back; a plan to support the person; and knowing that physical danger means get an adult right away.

Your turn

1

How is bullying different from ordinary conflict?

2

Name four types of bullying or harassment.

3

What is homophobia?

4

Name one impact of bullying on the person targeted.

5

Name one impact on bystanders.

6

What is an upstander?

7

Someone pressures you to send a sexual photo. What do you do?

More practice: warm-up

1

Sort: spreading a rumour to turn friends against someone.

2

Sort: a fake account posting mean things about a classmate.

3

Sort: making racist jokes about a classmate.

4

True or false: reporting bullying to an adult is snitching.

5

Is abuse ever the fault of the person who was harmed?

More practice: on your own

1

Why can identity-based bullying hurt more than other teasing?

2

Give two ways a person who bullies can also be affected.

3

A friend tells you, "I sent a pic and now he's threatening to share it." What do you say and do?

4

Why is sexual harassment harmful even if it's "just comments"?

5

What does Ontario's Human Rights Code protect people from?

Challenge

1

Design a school campaign to reduce identity-based bullying. Include a slogan, two actions, and how you'd know it worked.

2

Compare the impact of one hurtful comment said once in person and the same comment posted online. Which could have a wider impact and why?

3

Explain why a bystander's choices matter, using what you know about power imbalances.

Check your understanding

Quiz

1.

Bullying is different from conflict because it is...

2.

Using "gay" as an insult is an example of...

3.

Which is an upstander action?

4.

"If you liked me, you'd send a pic" is an example of...

5.

If someone is threatening to share an image of you, you should...

6.

Which is a social (relational) form of bullying?

7.

Who can be affected by bullying?

For parents and teachers

Big idea: This lesson covers the Grade 7 expectation to assess the potential impact on themselves and others of various types of bullying, abuse, exploitation, or harassment, including identity-based bullying (for example, homophobic or racist bullying) and coercion related to sexting, and to identify ways of preventing or resolving such incidents (D2.2). It builds emotional awareness (A1.1), relationship skills (A1.4) and sense of self (A1.5).

How to help at home:

  • Ask open questions: "Is there anyone at school who gets left out or picked on?"
  • Model respectful language and avoid jokes that put down any group.
  • Make clear that your child won't be in trouble for telling you about online images or threats.
  • Resources: Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868 (24/7); Cybertip.ca; NeedHelpNow.ca. If your child is in immediate danger, call 911.

Common difficulties: Children may excuse harm as "just joking" or fear being called a snitch. If your child reports being bullied, listen, thank them, write down what happened, and contact the school. The sexting content explains pressure and the law so children know to refuse and tell; it is not explicit.