Grade by Grade
C. Healthy Living · Healthy Living: Choices, Connections and Well-Being

Myths and Misconceptions About Sexuality: Spotting Harm and Responding Fairly

C3.4 1.3 1.5About 70 minutes
Learning goals
  • I can describe some common misconceptions about sexuality in our culture.
  • I can explain how these misconceptions may cause harm to people.
  • I can respond to misconceptions critically and fairly, using facts and respectful language.
  • I can support people who are targeted by harmful myths or stereotypes.

Words to know

misconception
A belief that is mistaken, often because it is based on myths, stereotypes or incomplete information.
stereotype
An oversimplified idea that everyone in a group is the same.
sexuality
A natural part of being human that includes feelings, attraction, relationships, identity, values and behaviour.
victim-blaming
Suggesting that a person who was harmed is responsible for what happened to them.
asexual
Describes a person who experiences little or no sexual attraction.
critical thinking
Questioning ideas, checking evidence and considering different perspectives before accepting or rejecting a claim.

A note before you start

This lesson is part of Ontario's human development and sexual health learning for Grade 10. It sticks to facts, uses correct terms and does not describe sexual activity. Read it with a trusted adult if you can. Every question is a good question to ask a parent, a doctor or nurse, or a school counsellor. If something in this lesson brings up a hard experience, reach out to Kids Help Phone (call 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868, 24/7, free and confidential) or the 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline (call or text 9-8-8, 24/7). In an emergency, call 911.

"Everybody knows that..."

Some of the loudest ideas about sexuality come from jokes, rumours, movies and comment sections. Many of them are wrong, and some of them hurt people: they create pressure, shame, unsafe choices and discrimination.

The Grade 10 curriculum asks you to describe some common misconceptions about sexuality in our culture and explain how these may cause harm to people and how they can be responded to critically and fairly (C3.4).

Remember from Grade 9

In Grade 9 you learned the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation, the factors (like acceptance, stigma, media and stereotypes) that affect how people understand their identity, and the sources of support for all students. You also learned methods to prevent pregnancy and STIs. This lesson uses that knowledge to challenge myths.

Common misconceptions

About sexual activity and relationships

  • "Everyone my age is having sex." (Many teens are not; waiting is common and healthy.)
  • "If you're dating, you owe your partner sexual activity." (No one ever owes anyone. Consent is needed every time.)
  • "What someone wears or drinks means they want sexual attention." (False; this is victim-blaming.)
  • "Sexting is private and harmless." (Images can be shared without consent, and sharing intimate images of anyone without consent is a crime.)

About sexual health

  • "You can't get pregnant the first time." (False.)
  • "You can tell if someone has an STI." (Many STIs have no symptoms; testing is the only way to know.)
  • "Only certain kinds of people get HIV or STIs." (Anyone who is sexually active can get an STI.)

About gender

  • "Guys always want sex" and "Girls are responsible for saying no." (Everyone has their own feelings and limits, and everyone is responsible for getting consent.)
  • "Real men don't talk about feelings." (Expressing emotions is healthy for everyone.)

About identity and diversity

  • "You can tell someone's sexual orientation or gender identity by how they look or act." (You can't.)
  • "Being 2SLGBTQ+ is a choice or a phase that someone can be talked out of." (Sexual orientation and gender identity are part of who a person is. Attempts to change them are harmful, and conversion therapy has been a crime in Canada since 2022.)
  • "Everyone feels sexual attraction." (Some people are asexual.)
  • "People with disabilities aren't interested in relationships." (People with disabilities have the same range of feelings and relationships as anyone.)
How a misconception causes harmMisconception"Guys always wantsex."Harm to boyspressure to act acertain way; feelingsand limits ignoredHarm to otherspartners' limits seenas a challenge;consent overlookedFair response"Everyone has theirown limits, andeveryone can say no."
A myth about one group often harms more than one group. A fair response replaces the myth with facts and respect.

How misconceptions cause harm

  • Pressure to do things before you're ready.
  • Unsafe choices (no protection or testing) leading to STIs or unintended pregnancy.
  • Shame and silence, so people don't ask questions or get help.
  • Victim-blaming, so people who are harmed are not believed or supported.
  • Bullying, discrimination and exclusion of 2SLGBTQ+ people, people with disabilities, or anyone who doesn't fit a stereotype, which can seriously affect mental health.
  • Unhealthy relationships, when control or jealousy is mistaken for love.
Responding critically and fairlyNoticeSpot theassumption orstereotypeQuestionWho says so?What's theevidence?Check factsUse reliablehealthsourcesWho's harmed?Think abouteveryoneaffectedRespond fairlyFacts, notinsults;supportanyonetargeted
Five steps for responding to a myth critically (with evidence) and fairly (with respect).

Your rights in Ontario

The Ontario Human Rights Code protects people from discrimination because of sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression (among other grounds), including in schools. Ontario schools must also have policies to prevent bullying and support inclusion. If you're targeted, tell a trusted adult or school administrator.

Worked example

Let's respond critically and fairly

In a group chat, someone writes: "Jay's definitely gay, look how he dresses lol." Several people add laughing emojis. Use the five steps.

  1. Notice: this is a stereotype (that clothing shows sexual orientation) and it targets Jay.
  2. Question: Is there any evidence? No; you can't tell anyone's orientation by appearance.
  3. Check facts: sexual orientation is personal; only Jay can share his own identity, if and when he chooses.
  4. Who's harmed? Jay (outed, mocked, possibly unsafe), and any 2SLGBTQ+ students reading who learn the chat isn't safe for them.
  5. Respond fairly: "Not cool. You can't tell anything about someone from their clothes, and it's not our business." Don't insult the poster. Check in privately with Jay. If it continues, report it to a trusted adult.

A critical and fair response corrects the myth, protects the person targeted and doesn't create a new target.

Worked example

Let's challenge a victim-blaming myth

After a party, a rumour spreads: "If she was drinking and wearing that, what did she expect?" Explain the harm and give a fair response.

  1. Misconception: clothing or drinking means someone "asked for" harm. False; the person who caused harm is responsible. A person who is impaired cannot consent.
  2. Harms: blames the person harmed, discourages people from reporting or getting help, and excuses the person who caused harm.
  3. Fair response: "Nobody asks to be hurt. Consent is about the other person's choices, not her clothes." Don't spread the rumour; support her privately; tell a trusted adult.

Responding fairly means shifting responsibility to where it belongs and refusing to spread harmful rumours.

Hands-on activity

Myth-busting card set

You need: index cards or a notes app, and reliable sources (your public health unit, Kids Help Phone, a sexual health clinic website, the Ontario Human Rights Commission).

  1. Choose four misconceptions from the lesson (one from each category).
  2. On each card write: the myth, the fact (with source), who could be harmed, and a fair response in one sentence.
  3. Read your responses aloud. Do they sound respectful, not sarcastic or insulting?

What to look for: accurate facts with sources, specific harms, and respectful responses that would help, not embarrass, the people involved.

Your turn

1

What is a misconception?

2

Give one misconception about sexual health and the fact that corrects it.

3

Give one misconception about gender and explain how it harms people.

4

What is victim-blaming, and why is it harmful?

5

Name the five steps for responding critically and fairly.

6

Can you tell someone's sexual orientation by how they look or act?

7

What law protects people in Ontario from discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity?

More practice: warm-up

1

True or false: Being in a relationship means you owe your partner sexual activity.

2

What does asexual mean?

3

Is sharing someone's intimate image without consent legal in Canada?

4

Name one place to find reliable sexual health facts.

5

Is it fair to insult someone who repeats a myth?

More practice: on your own

1

Why is "everyone is doing it" a harmful misconception?

2

Explain how the myth "people with disabilities aren't interested in relationships" could cause harm.

3

Explain how a misconception can harm more than one group, using an example.

4

What makes a response "critical"? What makes it "fair"?

5

A friend says being 2SLGBTQ+ is "just a phase". Give a fair response.

Challenge

1

Find a media example (song, show, ad or post) that includes a misconception about sexuality. Describe it, explain the harm, and write a critical and fair response.

2

Why might misconceptions about sexuality be especially harmful to the mental health of 2SLGBTQ+ youth, and what helps?

3

Plan a short (3-minute) presentation for Grade 9 students that busts three myths about sexuality in a respectful way. Outline it.

Check your understanding

Quiz

1.

Which is a fact?

2.

"What did she expect, dressed like that?" is an example of...

3.

A fair response to a myth...

4.

Which law protects Ontarians from discrimination because of gender identity?

5.

A critical response to a misconception starts by...

6.

Which statement about asexual people is correct?

For parents and teachers

About this content: This lesson is part of the human development and sexual health expectations of Ontario's Grade 10 course, Healthy Active Living Education (PPL2O, 2015 curriculum). It follows the curriculum's wording, uses correct terms, stays factual and non-graphic, and does not describe how to do sexual activities. It presents waiting (abstinence) as a healthy, common choice. Families who have concerns about this part of the course can talk to the school about its policy and options. At home, you may read it together, add your family's values, or teach the topic in your own way. No humour block is included in this lesson.

Big idea: C3.4: describe some common misconceptions about sexuality in our culture and explain how these may cause harm to people and how they can be responded to critically and fairly. Critical thinking (Living Skill 1.5) and communication (1.3) are central.

How to help at home: when a myth comes up in a show or the news, ask, "Is that true? Who could that hurt?" Correct misinformation calmly with reliable sources. Model respectful language about all people.

Common difficulties: responding to myths with sarcasm or insults (which is not fair); confusing stereotypes with facts.

Facts used: Ontario Human Rights Code protected grounds (sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression); Criminal Code of Canada offences for non-consensual distribution of intimate images and for conversion therapy (in force January 2022).